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My Google Audition March 15, 2022

Posted by stuffilikenet in Uncategorized.
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This is part of a technical writing exercise requested by The Goog.  I was strictly exhorted to take it seriously.  I failed this part of that exercise.

I have been asked to describe a common Earth game to Speaker-to-Animals, an ambassador to Earth from the Kzin empire.  He is an eight-foot-tall tiger-striped alien who looks distinctly feline, has large fangs, a limited sense of humor and is skilled in game theory.

Me: This game is one of logic, skill and cunning.  It is the first strategy game Earth children learn, and its rapid apprehension guides their path throughout life.

Speaker-to-Animals: Really?  How is it I have never heard of it? Is it concealed from outsiders customarily?

Me: Not at all; its value is poorly comprehended by outsiders, and so is ignored.  Nonetheless, Earth children readily grasp the nature of the derived victory and take life lessons therefrom, which can be thought of as the Iron Laws of Destiny, Distribution and Dining.

Speaker-to-Animals: [cocks ears forward] And this has escaped our notice all this time?

Me: Your species would not be the first.

Speaker-to-Animals: I must see this.  What equipment do we require?

Me: A piece of paper and two pencils.  In a pinch, we could each use the same pencil.

Speaker-to-Animals: Here. [produces materials]

Me: I will draw a three by three grid. [draws grid] The object of the game is to occupy a square at a time, by turns, until three squares are occupied by one player either vertically, horizontally or diagonally; that player is the winner.  The first player draws a cross [draws cross in the middle square] as his symbol; the second player draws a circle.  A draw occurs when all spaces are occupied but no winner has emerged.

Speaker-to-Animals: Hmm… [thoughtfully examines board, while his rat-like tail switches menacingly] The first player, by taking the center space, can always at least force a draw or beat an unskilled opponent.

Me:  Now you know why we call them the Iron Laws.