jump to navigation

Busses By The Bridge February 8, 2018

Posted by stuffilikenet in RV and camping, Toys.
add a comment

BBTB is a celebration of all things VW, but most especially busses.  My missus does not miss a chance to celebrate her particular misguided passion, despite the huge cost and compete unreliability of a thirty year-old, poorly designed, cheaply built invention of Adolph Hitler.

Just sayin’.

Now, lest you think me bitter or this subject, I point out that there were 600 better implementations of the Vanagon in this show alone, many of them fully functional and not at all plagued with the sorts of things which indicate the van in question was never restored, reconditioned or renovated.  At all.  Check the few photos below for pointed examples:

IMG_20180114_110309411_HDR IMG_20180114_110341495_HDR IMG_20180114_110426450 IMG_20180114_110456712 IMG_20180114_110520097_HDR IMG_20180114_110543052_HDR IMG_20180114_111231224_HDR IMG_20180114_111305221_HDR IMG_20180114_104652184_HDR IMG_20180114_104707809 IMG_20180114_104743582_HDR IMG_20180114_104755293 IMG_20180114_104809695_HDR IMG_20180114_104820818 IMG_20180114_104834120_HDR IMG_20180114_104907695_HDR IMG_20180114_104945757_HDR IMG_20180114_104957519 IMG_20180114_105019782 IMG_20180114_105044366_HDR IMG_20180114_105101464 IMG_20180114_105112823_HDR IMG_20180114_105131295_HDR IMG_20180114_105146598 IMG_20180114_105231436_HDR IMG_20180114_105246299_HDR IMG_20180114_105410094 IMG_20180114_105458220 IMG_20180114_105630854_HDR IMG_20180114_110034064 IMG_20180114_110213655 IMG_20180114_110244932_HDR

Joshua Tree National Park February 8, 2018

Posted by stuffilikenet in Awesome, Mutants, Photography, RV and camping, Uncategorizable.
add a comment

Warning: foul language

JTNP is a dangerous place for the unwary naturalist or hiker.  Forget about scampering naked through the desert during a full moon; this place is populated by a truly bewildering variety of spiked, barbed,pointed and sharp plants guaranteed to impale an incautious passerby on the briefest hike, or trip to the restroom.

Take, for example, this beautiful specimen of Darwinian selection:

IMG_20180131_152635047

This is known as the Spanish Bayonet, the Pointy Bastard or the Unwary Thighstabber. My wife says this is her least favorite plant, possibly due to unfortunate personal experience.  Spanish Bayonet is very stiff and the point is very hard.  I do not doubt this pointy bastard could be used as a bayonet.

Next a more delicate, elegant stiletto of a plant:

IMG_20180203_123553019

Note the barbed thorns and tips. This herd-culling flora is known as the Lacerating Motherfucker, for good reason. Sometimes called the Wait a Minute, it grabs anything organic which brushes it and drags it towards itself in a series of painful spasms.  One presumes the plant benefits passively from the organic matter of its victims decaying around it, thus enriching the local soil. It is perhaps worth noting that many desert species secrete chemicals which inhibit the germination of other plants.  This helps explain why there are small bare patches surrounding most plants in Joshua Tree National Park.  Worth noting, too, is that the space is just large enough for small critters to pass, but not humans.

Ouch.

Then there are the more obvious instruments of torture, the standard cacti, some of which are exceptionally well defended1, such as the Malevolent Spiny Fucker:

IMG_20180201_113951535

Closely related in terms of armament and disposition is That Dangerous Spiked Fucker:

IMG_20180201_123045820

Not lastly (because I’m typing this in a very cramped camping chair and I need to go have a beer) is the Psychotic Rapier Clusterfuck.  Do not trip near this plant.

IMG_20180202_125817483

As usual, the wonders of Nature make me sit back and admire her ingenuity from safely inside a locked room with air conditioning, a stereo system playing Vivaldi and powerful adult beverages to celebrate my narrow escapes.2

I would not have you finish reading this little note without understanding that the grandeur of the place is unparalleled in my experience. The Flintstonesesque scenery will make any visitor think they have landed on another planet designed by Irwin Allen, or maybe Ray Harryhausen.3:

IMG_20180201_142954251

IMG_20180131_154020734

IMG_20180201_133920913

IMG_20180201_124211985

1.  The best defense is a good offense.

2.  I haven’t even talked about the night hikes through the Stabby Wastelands following an experienced madman to “my spot”, nor the boulder scrambling urges that demand to be addressed by the Flintstones’ rock formations here. Honestly, I don’t know what I was thinking.

3.   Seriously. Maybe Luc Besson?