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Tinfoil Hat Calibration November 3, 2012

Posted by stuffilikenet in Brain, Brilliant words, Uncategorizable.

From The List Which Cannot Be Named:

I would be interested in knowing specifically what shape the aluminum foil  should be fashioned in for maximum deflection of radio frequencies; this recommendation, along with the objective research, could be passed on to the paranoid schizophrenic community.

When I worked at Radio Shack (first real job out of high school, if you can call retail "Sales Making!" a real job) we had a shortbus-load of "special" folks visit the mall we were in about once a month.  One of these ladies came in one day, crying and complaining that her tinfoil hat was very uncomfortable during the summer.  (Sacramento summer heat can get as high as 120F in bad years.)

My coworker Tina sold her a studfinder ($8?), which she claimed to have modified special in the back room, to detect the CIA and other guvmint bands – we also sold crystals for scanners, of course. The studfinder would beep randomly sometimes at power-on; she told this poor CIA victim that if that happened, to go ahead and wear her hat.

That woman was ever so grateful.  She always knew when to put on her hat after that.  We didn’t tell her that the CIA changes its frequencies every year or so, so she’d need to bring it in for updated crystals. I’m sure the CIA and NSA are very happy they’ve been able to monitor and modify her thoughts lo these many years. 

I also wonder sometimes how many years of therapy we set her back.


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